Thought Catalogue summed it all up

"I was always dating the wrong guys because I was scared to be vulnerable.

Sometimes with me, you have to peel back the layers to see who I really am as a person, who is a happy, carefree, easily amused and intelligent person. But on the very outside of my shell, I am that girl who doesn’t bother talking to people who she doesn’t think is worth her time. I’m still working on my inability to be vulnerable. Because I was scared to be vulnerable, I never really went after what I actually wanted. I never gave the guys that genuinely liked me for who I was a chance. I was always living in the moment, never stopping to look at who was actually there for me the entire time.

I’m a much different person than I was at this time last year. For the first time in 25 years, I know my value as a person. I know I’m extremely different from your typical girl. I’m never going to screw you over once you get past my guard which is why I have a hard time letting people in. But I learned that there are people that DESERVE to get past your guard. Let those people who have proved you their loyalty repeatedly in. I’m more free than I was, knowing my own value as a person. I know how much I’m worth. I know who’s worth my time and who isn’t. I learned that people who invalidate my own worth, feelings, and opinions aren’t worth my time. Granted, I’m not perfect and I never will be, but there is a giant difference between the ones who belittle you and the ones who embrace you for the person you are, strengths and weaknesses."

Guess i'm still trying to put this into practise : "But I learned that there are people that DESERVE to get past your guard."